My boy

Hey all, i haven't updated probly going on a year now was bout this time last year i found out i had lost what would have been my 2nd baby.I have dealt with it the best i can but i am thinking of going and seeing someone talk bout it and sadly it isn't the only bad thing that had happened the past year.anyway........
Things have finally started getting better for me and my son we r back renting a gorgeous place with my brother and things r really settling down well for now. My son jack turned 5 on the 31st august he is growing up way to fast!S seeing as he is 5 and he has grown mentally and physically in the past 5 months he is actually going to school next year.In fact he is completely 100% enrolled for kindy next year,I am even taking him to the school readiness 2 hours sessions they r having at his school it runs for 4 weeks but we have already been to 1 so 3 to go.Last week did not go well he didn't wanna join the kids on the floor,sing songs or do the activities that they were doing but the moment it was time for all the kids to go outside with just the kids and the 2 kindy teachers he was like a puff of smoke just took of with his morning tea and stood with the other kids.I am guessing he was just freaked out by all the adults plus kids in the one place it got to him i am hoping by the end of the 4 weeks though he will be fine.I know he is looking forward to school though he asked when i was going to be leaving him there lol.
This whole school thing is really new for me and i can't even ask my mum coz things have changed so much since we all went to school, i am trying to take one step at a time.I have a lot of things to buy for him before he starts though like his uniform,school shoes,school hat,backpack,library bag and this is just things i know of so i am starting to freak out a little.Also i kinda imagined when the day came me and his dad would be taking him to his first day i know jack hasn't seen him in 2 years now but still in the back of my mind still thought we would be u know.I know it will all be ok in the end but with all the stuff i need to get and figure out it really comes down to the fact my lil man is growing up way to fast and i swear i am gunna be one of those mums that cry on the first day leaving my kid.

well better go, sorry if this doesn't make sense was just kinda a thing i needed to write and if any one would get it well u guys would get what i am going through.
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powerlinerd

Co-parenting..??..!!...

I'd appreciate any suggestions!!

Son - aged 5 Braidyn
His dad -Jamie
Moi - mother
Youngest son aged 2 - Dru

Jamie & I have shared custody of Braidyn. He lives with me half the time and his father and his girlfriend half the time. I am having great difficulty with Braidyn when he returns from his dads. It feels like I just get him turned around & he goes back there.  They have different activities there than I do at my house. Mine are things like colouring, playdough, Learning games, card games and a half hour pf computer time a day.  We also have a Wii but it only comes out when its raining or we have company. When I ask him what he did at his dads his answers r play games on the computer or the x box.  Jamies girlfriend also has 2 sons (not jamies) that are a bit older than Braidyn. Braidyn often complains of them taking his things or picking on him. I have tried to talk to Janie about what the rules are there and he talls me its none of my business. I cant afford a lawyer to go back to court, I'm not even sure I could.?.  The talking back and picking on his brother get worse every time!!.. Feeling like I have NO CONTROL..

Very frustrated mom!!
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    bitchy bitchy

Quick Update

Quick update on my case. Talked to a lawyer yesterday. He said the child abuse charges won't stick. There's just no proof. I called CYS (on her and myself). They are supposed to get back to me in the next 2-9 days. I want them to come over, talked to the other kids, and check out the house for "abuse." I want my name cleared and this documented that these allegations are "unfounded." Lawyer called her lawyer to see if he actually filed a petition as he claims. No answer. If he did, we ride that in and counter sue with this new information of what she's done. If he didn't we petition ($125 on my part). So hopefully things will go pretty fast from here on out. My 13 y/o daughter is currently with my dad and step-mom and seems to be doing well. I called her and she talked to me. She seemed to be doing well and was pretty happy. We are going to see her tonight and take her blankets, stuffed animal frog, and more clothes for her. Her sisters miss her immensely. I would think the fact that the other sisters live with me may have an impact on custody proceedings. Anyone know that for sure?

On a separate note, my 19 y/o has sent me a text, called my house, cell, and work phone, as well as email me with what is essentially the same question...

"Dad, I found out I could get in trouble for my part in this. Are you going to press charges against me too?"

I am going to ignore her for now and let her stew and worry over this. Hopefully she will realize lying to the police for her mom was just plain wrong and how manipulative and deceitful her mom is.

On a side note, the Social Security fraud I have her on would go something like this. Apparently my ex would be investigated for fraud, but my 19 y/o would get the worst of it since she received the money when it wasn't to go to her (or her mom) but to the legal custodial parent/guardian. Any thoughts on whether I should pursue this or not?

Thank you so much to all who are praying and sending wishes for me and my family. I appreciate it. Please don't think I am ignoring you if I do not reply to your post. I am a little preoccupied now with this! Please know I read them all and appreciate it. If anyone would like to contact me directly, I can be reached at bburnell4@comcast.net

Thanks!
Brett
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ex, car

(no subject)

Ok, so I haven't posted a complaint (or anything else for that matter) about my ex for well over a year in my LJ. But this has me so p*ssed off I'm going postal.

Ok, so he is supposed to pay for half of my son's preschool tuition. Three weeks ago, I called him reminded him that tuition is due October 1st, and that he could either give me the cash that Saturday when he came to see my son, or he could mail me a check.

He didn't bring the cash with him for that visit; said he would mail me the check. Last Monday, I called him because I had not rcvd the check yet. Turns out he had forgotten to mail it. I implored him as politely as possible to put the check in the mail ASAP since I had to pay tuition on Friday.

Friday rolls around.....no check. So I did not pay tuition, figuring the check would be in the mail over the weekend, and I could pay tuition on Monday.

No check Monday. School sends home note reminding me of overdue tuition. I write check Monday night, thinking that surely the check will come in the mail Tuesday. I can deposit it Tuesday, drop off tuition check Wednesday when I take small boy to school. But guess what? NO CHECK ON TUESDAY EITHER. I called him yesterday. Conversation went as follows:

Me: You did put the check in the mail, right?
Him: Yeesssss (you can just hear the eyeroll over the phone) I told you I'd send it....
Me: So why don't I have it yet?
Him: (backpedaling) oh, uh, yeah, I forgot, it got returned to me because I addressed it to your street address and not your PO box
Me: (gritting teeth) why would you do that? You know the post office will only accept mail addressed to the box number. You've sent me stuff before...
Him: I forgot. I addressed the envelope before I had my coffee.

?!?

So he offers to wire me the money. He goes on Western Union's webiste, discovers that they have a station at the convenience store down the block from me. Says he will call me back with the transaction number. After waiting 2 hours, I text him asking what's happening. He says website won't take his card, he needs to call his bank. I'm thinking, Oh great, he spent the frickin' money he was supposed to send for his son. An hour later, he texts me a transaction number. So I take it to the convenience store that he said he wired the cash to. They tell me they don't do wire transfers there. By now I am livid, but late for soccer practice.

After soccer practice, I stop by the local chain grocerry store, where they do indeed do WU wire transfers. They ask me to fill out a form with the transaction number and the amount I'm supposed to recieve. So I call the ex yet again to confirm amount:

me: How much cash did you send?
him: I could only send $50
me: That's all you're supposed to send.
him: I thought I was supposed to send $60 a month?
me: No, his tuition is only $102.


Later, it hits me....The reason the website wouldn't take his card is because he didn't have enough money for what he was trying to send. Which also means that if I had actually rcvd the check, IT WOULD HAVE BOUNCED. Also, he thought I was expecting $60.....he only sent $50, and wasn't going to tell me that. If I hadn't called to confirm, he'd have never told me.

I honestly dont know why I rely on him for ANYTHING. He can't even pay child support on time. Even with the state garnishing his wages, he can't be reliable, because he loses his damn job every 6 months. And he acts like I'm the bad guy for demanding that he help support his son. You know, if it were just me he was sending money to, I wouldn't be half so mad. But it's his son. HOW CAN HE BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE ABOUT HIS OWN SON????

Grrr. Stoopidstoopidstoopid.

ok. end rant.
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Update...

I'm at home today. Migraine and digestive problems (probably from the stress). 13 y/o is safe at my dad's until legal proceedings continue. Cops were "on my side" until they once again, alleged child abuse with no proof. I just don't get it. Going to see lawyer at 4:00 today. Calling Childline on her. (Childline is the PA statewide CYS #).
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    depressed depressed

HELP!!

Please pray for me. My 13 y/o daughter (from the earlier post today) was "kidnapped" by my 19 y/o daughter and ex and she refuses to give her back to me. The police are involved but say their hands are tied until I can get a copy of her conviction from the District Attorney tomorrow. I am SO stressed and anxious!

From now on, I will never trust my oldest (19 y/o) daughter again. The cops told me that the 13, 19, and my ex all "accused" me of child abuse. That is f**kin bull sh**! He says they are not going to press forward with that (probably because it's not true). I am so distraught!
momma, baby

Hi

Im my name's Natalie. I just joined so this in an intro type thing. Im 21 and i have one daughter Charlotte who's 9 weeks today. I was a fulltime college student but now im taking a break to be a SAHM.

My daughter's father, Chris, and I broke up a few weeks before i found out i was pregnant last November. I was going to tell him in person but someone else told him so he asked me if i was pregnant in December. I told him yes he fed me some story about how he wanted to get back together and all that jazz. Then he was arrested last february for stealing and we started talking while he was in jail. He got out the end of April and i saw him for a night and a day. He get to feel the baby kick and was really excited. Then about 3 days later he was drunk and i guess stole something again...I never got the whole story. But while he was in jail the tried him for a car accident from May of 07. His problem is he's an alcholic. He knows it but he still needs a push to get more help. I talk to him all the time and send him pictures. He went to prison 2 weeks ago and should hopefully be getting out by April at the latest. I know he's not good to have around the baby but he has no one supporting him or there for him except for his sister. His mom's an alcholic/drug addict. He had a horrible childhood and he didn't have a father figure in his life.

I gues that was a little to much info lol Umm... yeah

Natalie<3
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turtle

(no subject)

Hi there...I guess this is an intro post with a couple of rants and questions. My name is Fash, I'm 21 and I have a 15 month old named Joel. I left his dad in late August and moved back in with my mother. His dad was always great with him when we were together, we took care of him pretty equally, depending on how much each one of us was working a certain week. Now that we're not together anymore, he seems to be taking no interest in him whatsoever. The first month I would drop Joel off at dad's apartment on the way to work (I generally work from 7pm-7am) and he would bring him to me in the morning on his way to work. In the past month, though, he hasn't seen him more than a few days. He has no phone now because he didn't pay the bill, and most of the time if I try to drop Joel off on the way to work, his dad isn't there. He has two roomates now in his one bedroom apartment, so you would think he would be able to help me out with expenses, but he always complains that he's out of money...and yet at the same time says that his first roomate only pays $100 rent and the other one isn't paying rent this month because he "has to help them out". He doesn't know either of these guys--they're friends of his brother--and yet he can help him out while I'm over here trying to figure out how to buy the things my son needs while splitting the bills at my mom's place and buying all the food for 7 people, as she isn't receiving child support either.

And now I don't think I'll be able to let Joel go with him anymore at all without supervision, because I left him with his dad on Saturday night and he drove him over to my house on Sunday night, completely drunk. I'm just so pissed off at him that I don't know what to say. In some ways I'm completely terrified of being a single parent and hurt that I feel like I was making a good decision marrying him, but was really just continuing the tired legacy of deadbeat dads and single parenthood that plagued my grandmother and mother...but at the same time it feels very liberating. I'm no longer deluding myself that I can save him from his alcoholism or his bad childhood, and I'm no longer fighting against his paranoia and his desire to control me.

One problem that I have, though, is that my soon-to-be-ex husband does not speak very much English, and neither do any of his family members except for the older kids. When we were together, we spoke Spanish at home. Now, I am living with my mother, and neither she nor any of my siblings speak Spanish. I try to speak Spanish to him as often as possible, but it's difficult to do that all the time because I don't want to leave people out. I'm afraid that, with his dad barely seeing him, he's not going to learn Spanish and won't be able to communicate with his dad's side of the family that is here or in Mexico. Has anybody ever been in this situation, or have any advice?

Thanks for reading.

Problems Continue...

I posted a few weeks ago about this. This morning this happened.

My 19 y/o (who was raped by mom's cousin - Mom and cousin were jailed a few years ago), took my 13 and 15 y/o daughters to their mom's place to go shopping (an hour away). She asked if they could stay overnight at the daughter's place and then take them to school this morning. I said ok. This morning they showed up to get their stuff in their mom's car. I asked the 13 y/o if they spent the night at their mom's and she said yes. In fact she said that "she was with her sisters" Thus, indicating to me she knew it was against my wishes.

Now, I had specifically said and made all three of them promise:
A) They were not allowed overnights at their mom's house.
B) Their mom was not to be shown where I live.

The 19 y/o says she "didn't know" which is a lie. Then she said she "misunderstood" which is also a lie. I asked her numerous times to promise me no overnights weeks ago. In fact it was to the point she got upset with me and boldly stated "I understand!" I know the 15 y/o knew. If the 19 y/o was refusing to take them home, they should've called me.I don't think I can trust any of them anymore. The 19 y/o's fiance even told me on the phone that they wouldn't be back until late last night and asked if they could stay at their place overnight.

Am I overreacting?

I have pretty much told the 19 y/o that she can only see her sisters with supervision (like her mom now). I'm now also worried that their mom will try and rob my place or do something (she's done it before).

I had to cancel my plans last night because of this, but I wanted the kids to visit their mom if they want to. I am worried that my kids will hate me, but I would rather they are safe than love me.

The ex has also filed for disability and I got it for the other 2 kids. She filed for disability for the oldest daughter for when she was 17-18, when I had custody. It was almost $1,000 and she did give the money to my daughter, but it is Social Security fraud, isn't it? I'm worried if I turn her in (she's on parole now), that the kids will hate me for putting her mom back in jail.

Any thoughts welcome. I am so frustrated and angry!!!
  • Current Music
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3 most beautiful kids in the world

(no subject)

This article is from Alec Baldwin's new book. I'm tempted to buy it when it comes out. A lot of what he says in the excerpt hits home. I've been both the non custodial and non custodial parent during a very expensive and painful divorce myself.

There is some insight here and hopefully all parents involved in a messy divorce can learn from it.


link