New Mom

I'm a new mom, my son is 7 months old, and I'm 20 years old.

I feel horrible thinking about what my life could have been if i did not have my son this early. I feel that I've lost some of my life and can't get it back...
I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but he does not feel the same, or does not want to talk about it. I don't know if this makes me a bad mother thinking these things or if this is something normal.
Besides this I feel great about being a mom, nothing could make me happier.
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    confused confused
Eddie Squirrel

Etiquette question...

Alright, so I'll try and Reader's Digest the back story necessary to ask my question.

I'm a single mother, and my daughter has known her father for only a little over a year, now.

He has taken what I have tried to make into an amicable, working alliance to raise our child and turned it into a very nasty custody issue, complete with lying, slander, intimidation, and false accusations of child abuse and neglect.

My daughter's birthday is coming up, and I will be having a party for her with her friends.

I have been told flat out by all of the parents of the children invited that if her father and his wife and other daughter (under a year, so no hurt feelings on her part,) are there, that they will not allow their children to attend.

The party is scheduled for a day that is NOT one of his days.

How do I go about politically saying "You, your lying cunt of a wife, and your baby can't come because you piss off everyone around you and you're generally toxic to the emotional environment."?

To add, I'm not going to prevent him from celebrating her birthday with her, I just don't want him at this party, since it won't be a party if there's no one there.

(no subject)

Another study that ranks up there with the single parenting bashing. I've been to jail, I have friends who work in jails and prisons. There are more people in there with "regular" names than unusual ones.

When are people going to learn, you can't just put a tag on something and say it's so.

Don't blame me.

I am so sick and tired of Ann Coulter and types that think like her blaming single parents for the fall of society. In case she didn't notice, a man raised by a single mom just moved into the White House. 8 years before that, a man with an abusive alcoholic step-father was in the White House.

It's called responsible parenting. Whether it's 1, 2 or 50 parents raising a child. Sometimes something goes wrong and no one is to blame except for the person committing the crime.
Single parenting is hard. I think most of us are doing the best we can. For the most part we have well behaved, law abiding children, but oh Holy Lord, let one dumb ass commit a crime and let said dumbass be raised by a single parent and all of a sudden it's because of that and not the criminal that is to blame.

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ev glasses 13 mos

dental reimbursement

hey everyone!

question. i have a filed, legal agreement with my son's biodad that he pays for half my cost of insurance AND half the cost of uninsured medicals. son is going to need some dental work soon and neither of us have dental insurance. is he legally obligated to pay for half? i live in Massachusetts, if it matters.

thanks for your advice!
Bruins - shadow

I thought it would get better.. but its just not.

My son is almost 2 1/2. He FREAKSSSS out when I cut his hair. Sobbing, thrashing his head and arms all over the place.. its pretty ridiculous. Ive been buzzing his hair for over a year.. and I knew he wasnt going to enjoy it, but I kinda thought it would get better once he knew what to expect. Its not getting any better. He also screams and kicks etc etc when I cut his nails (fingers and toes) I do eveything I can think of. Ive tried staggering the days that I do these things on so its not all at once. Ive tried doing them all together just to get it over with. Ive stuck him in front of the tv, Ive given him "special occasion" toys. Nothing works. Now.. Im not a boy, and have never had my hair buzzed.. it is possible that it actually hurts him? That hes not just being incredibly dramatic? It baffles me everything how much he truly FREAKS OUT.

x-posted a couple places.

Single mom blues

I need some encouragement from single moms out there. I feel very overwhelmed with life right now. I'm trying to be optimistic about this new year, but I am afraid. My son's behavior is getting so out of control lately. Terrible three's? He hits, throws tantrums, everyday it is a battle. Going out in public is humiliating. I'm trying to be more patient and not yell, but it's tough. Today I just wanted to give up completely and move away. I love my child, but it's so exhausting when you're alone. I have no help, and when I do get a break, it's not much at all. Evan is so disappointing. He didn't even get Corgan a gift for Christmas. He's such a shitty dad. It just all seems like a waste. I'm worried about working. Where to work. I need to make more than minimum wage to survive. Rent, groceries, etc. I don't even know how to pay for childcare. I can't apply for assistance until I work full-time and I'm on a waiting list. A long waiting list. I just need the confidence and strength to do this. Help. I need to help myself. I don't even have time to be depressed.

Happy the clam

Driving with little ones.

So, given that there was a storm warning in effect all day (avoid travel if possible. If you must travel, be prepared for emergencies.), all the schools were closed, and, while there was just a little snow this morning, it was predicted to get worse as the day went on-and was worse where they wanted to go---is it at all unreasonable to ask that my son's dad keep him in town today, rather than taking him to his house, an hour away?

Single again

Yes, I am back as an active member of this group. For almost 3 years I have been married to a wonderful man but we have seemed to find ourselves wanting a different life. We both agree that we make better friends than better spouses and decided to put our friendship above all else and seperate for a while and then file for the divorce. We have one baby together and he is the only real father my oldest knows, even though she was from a previous relationship. We will remain in close contact for at least 18 more years, hopefully longer. He is my best friend and I would love for him to stay a huge part of my life. We are not filing for custody at all, we are in agreement that he has them while I work and any other time that he wants to see them as long as it isn't on my off day and they will live with me. On holidays I see no problem with them going with him part of the day and then coming home to me. I think we are being very mature about the whole thing and hope that we continue to do so.

Honestly I am really scared about this whole thing. I have never been on my own before, I have either lived with my mom or the guy that I was seeing at the time. This is going to be very hard to depend on myself let alone have 2 little girls depending on me as well. I know I can do it because I have been to hell and back during my 30 years on this earth so this should be cake...but I am still scared. It is like I am starting all over. I don't like change but I don't think it is fair to my family or myself to stay in a marriage that neither of us really want to be in.


Name: Lorilie

Status: Complicated

Age: 27

Location: Vancouver, BC / New York, NY

Children: Loll – my 3 yr old little girl,

I’m the adoptive mother of my baby sister. It’s a long and complicated story for a another day.

Sahm/wohm/wahm: wohm

Hobbies: I keep very busy between Theater, Music & Literature appreciation, Art, General political outrage & Activism. Being a Mom is Full-Time and I love every moment of it...

More about me: I'm a professional cabaret, opera, musical theatre singer/actor. I'm a bit of a hippy in high heels. I enjoy the challenges of being a patient and respectful mother.

I want to live everywhere, try everything, smell and taste the world and see every form of beauty there is.

I don’t feel like a grown-up – I don’t think I ever will.

I swear like a sailor and have been attempting to calm it down.

I enjoy getting to know new people – especially the odd balls. Normal is highly over rated.

I'm looking for new friends, so add me!

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