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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Single Parents' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, February 1st, 2009
10:55 pm
New Mom
I'm a new mom, my son is 7 months old, and I'm 20 years old.

I feel horrible thinking about what my life could have been if i did not have my son this early. I feel that I've lost some of my life and can't get it back...
I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but he does not feel the same, or does not want to talk about it. I don't know if this makes me a bad mother thinking these things or if this is something normal.
Besides this I feel great about being a mom, nothing could make me happier.

Current Mood: confused
Friday, January 30th, 2009
3:21 am
Etiquette question...
Alright, so I'll try and Reader's Digest the back story necessary to ask my question.

I'm a single mother, and my daughter has known her father for only a little over a year, now.

He has taken what I have tried to make into an amicable, working alliance to raise our child and turned it into a very nasty custody issue, complete with lying, slander, intimidation, and false accusations of child abuse and neglect.

My daughter's birthday is coming up, and I will be having a party for her with her friends.

I have been told flat out by all of the parents of the children invited that if her father and his wife and other daughter (under a year, so no hurt feelings on her part,) are there, that they will not allow their children to attend.

The party is scheduled for a day that is NOT one of his days.

How do I go about politically saying "You, your lying cunt of a wife, and your baby can't come because you piss off everyone around you and you're generally toxic to the emotional environment."?

To add, I'm not going to prevent him from celebrating her birthday with her, I just don't want him at this party, since it won't be a party if there's no one there.
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
3:19 pm
Another study that ranks up there with the single parenting bashing. I've been to jail, I have friends who work in jails and prisons. There are more people in there with "regular" names than unusual ones.

When are people going to learn, you can't just put a tag on something and say it's so.
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
5:12 pm
Don't blame me.
I am so sick and tired of Ann Coulter and types that think like her blaming single parents for the fall of society. In case she didn't notice, a man raised by a single mom just moved into the White House. 8 years before that, a man with an abusive alcoholic step-father was in the White House.

It's called responsible parenting. Whether it's 1, 2 or 50 parents raising a child. Sometimes something goes wrong and no one is to blame except for the person committing the crime.
Single parenting is hard. I think most of us are doing the best we can. For the most part we have well behaved, law abiding children, but oh Holy Lord, let one dumb ass commit a crime and let said dumbass be raised by a single parent and all of a sudden it's because of that and not the criminal that is to blame.


Current Mood: pissed off
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
5:38 pm
dental reimbursement
hey everyone!

question. i have a filed, legal agreement with my son's biodad that he pays for half my cost of insurance AND half the cost of uninsured medicals. son is going to need some dental work soon and neither of us have dental insurance. is he legally obligated to pay for half? i live in Massachusetts, if it matters.

thanks for your advice!
Monday, January 19th, 2009
6:11 pm
I thought it would get better.. but its just not.
My son is almost 2 1/2. He FREAKSSSS out when I cut his hair. Sobbing, thrashing his head and arms all over the place.. its pretty ridiculous. Ive been buzzing his hair for over a year.. and I knew he wasnt going to enjoy it, but I kinda thought it would get better once he knew what to expect. Its not getting any better. He also screams and kicks etc etc when I cut his nails (fingers and toes) I do eveything I can think of. Ive tried staggering the days that I do these things on so its not all at once. Ive tried doing them all together just to get it over with. Ive stuck him in front of the tv, Ive given him "special occasion" toys. Nothing works. Now.. Im not a boy, and have never had my hair buzzed.. it is possible that it actually hurts him? That hes not just being incredibly dramatic? It baffles me everything how much he truly FREAKS OUT.

x-posted a couple places.
Friday, January 2nd, 2009
11:01 am
Single mom blues
I need some encouragement from single moms out there. I feel very overwhelmed with life right now. I'm trying to be optimistic about this new year, but I am afraid. My son's behavior is getting so out of control lately. Terrible three's? He hits, throws tantrums, everyday it is a battle. Going out in public is humiliating. I'm trying to be more patient and not yell, but it's tough. Today I just wanted to give up completely and move away. I love my child, but it's so exhausting when you're alone. I have no help, and when I do get a break, it's not much at all. Evan is so disappointing. He didn't even get Corgan a gift for Christmas. He's such a shitty dad. It just all seems like a waste. I'm worried about working. Where to work. I need to make more than minimum wage to survive. Rent, groceries, etc. I don't even know how to pay for childcare. I can't apply for assistance until I work full-time and I'm on a waiting list. A long waiting list. I just need the confidence and strength to do this. Help. I need to help myself. I don't even have time to be depressed.

Friday, December 19th, 2008
12:14 am
Driving with little ones.
So, given that there was a storm warning in effect all day (avoid travel if possible. If you must travel, be prepared for emergencies.), all the schools were closed, and, while there was just a little snow this morning, it was predicted to get worse as the day went on-and was worse where they wanted to go---is it at all unreasonable to ask that my son's dad keep him in town today, rather than taking him to his house, an hour away?
Friday, December 12th, 2008
12:26 pm
Single again
Yes, I am back as an active member of this group. For almost 3 years I have been married to a wonderful man but we have seemed to find ourselves wanting a different life. We both agree that we make better friends than better spouses and decided to put our friendship above all else and seperate for a while and then file for the divorce. We have one baby together and he is the only real father my oldest knows, even though she was from a previous relationship. We will remain in close contact for at least 18 more years, hopefully longer. He is my best friend and I would love for him to stay a huge part of my life. We are not filing for custody at all, we are in agreement that he has them while I work and any other time that he wants to see them as long as it isn't on my off day and they will live with me. On holidays I see no problem with them going with him part of the day and then coming home to me. I think we are being very mature about the whole thing and hope that we continue to do so.

Honestly I am really scared about this whole thing. I have never been on my own before, I have either lived with my mom or the guy that I was seeing at the time. This is going to be very hard to depend on myself let alone have 2 little girls depending on me as well. I know I can do it because I have been to hell and back during my 30 years on this earth so this should be cake...but I am still scared. It is like I am starting all over. I don't like change but I don't think it is fair to my family or myself to stay in a marriage that neither of us really want to be in.
10:44 am

Name: Lorilie

Status: Complicated

Age: 27

Location: Vancouver, BC / New York, NY

Children: Loll – my 3 yr old little girl,

I’m the adoptive mother of my baby sister. It’s a long and complicated story for a another day.

Sahm/wohm/wahm: wohm

Hobbies: I keep very busy between Theater, Music & Literature appreciation, Art, General political outrage & Activism. Being a Mom is Full-Time and I love every moment of it...

More about me: I'm a professional cabaret, opera, musical theatre singer/actor. I'm a bit of a hippy in high heels. I enjoy the challenges of being a patient and respectful mother.

I want to live everywhere, try everything, smell and taste the world and see every form of beauty there is.

I don’t feel like a grown-up – I don’t think I ever will.

I swear like a sailor and have been attempting to calm it down.

I enjoy getting to know new people – especially the odd balls. Normal is highly over rated.

I'm looking for new friends, so add me!

pics under the cutCollapse )
Thursday, December 11th, 2008
6:49 pm
Hey is anyone on this community from australia and if yes have u gone through the process of changing ur childs name or a custody procedure??

Current Mood: anxious
Monday, December 8th, 2008
8:18 pm
Please help!!!
Ok i am at my wits end!!! every nite it is the same thing put my son to bed and he keeps getting up every 5 mins or so claiming he needs to go to the toilet or sneaks into mine or my brothers room and if not that just trashes his room over and over again it can take up to 4 hours to get him to sleep. He has never been easy to get to sleep but this is just beyond a joke, i have tried putting him back to bed without talking,i have read him a story or few,i have tried getting angry,i have tried taking things away from him... i just don;t know what else to try or what to keep trying. If anyone can give me any advise big or small i would be sooo grateful!!!

Current Mood: stressed
Friday, December 5th, 2008
7:33 pm
I have a 3 year old and a 22 month old. Neither of them really talk in a way anyone can understand them. I think my 22 month old would speak better if it wasn't for the 3 year old. My 3 year old (Matthew) talks like he's deaf, although he's not. He starts speach therapy, but is there more I can do for them? Every day, in every thing we do, I'm constantly pronouncing things that I'm talking about so they see my lips move and hear the sounds. They're just not really doing it.
2:07 pm
What are some good food to give to a 1 year old?
He likes to feed himself also.
Thursday, December 4th, 2008
9:46 pm
ADHD issues

I rarely post in here but I'm looking for soem advice. I posted this on a message board I participate in but thought I'd check with other singleparents and see what advice any of you might have.

Read more...Collapse )
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008
12:19 am
Nothing for Christmas
Being a single parent isn't always easy. Let's face it...if you are here, you know this. This year has been tough financially for almost everyone. I know this. I found myself on disability this year for over 6 months. Besides being scared every month about losing my appartment and my son to social services, I've lost track of the year. Now my son asks me everyday to get out the Christmas decorations. He's so excited about Santa coming and filling his stocking and putting things under the tree as in years past. I don't have the heart to tell him that I do not have a way to help "Santa" come this year. What am I to tell him on Christmas morning when he wakes up and everything is as it was the night before?

To add a new twist to our holidays, he has started supervised visits with his father recently. His father wants to try to get partial custody of him again. My son is scared to death. How could I send him back to his father's house where he was abused? I'm praying that my son will not have to deal with this during the holidays. IF we go back to court, I'm hoping it will be after the holidays are over. My son doesn't need to remember fear along with Christmas and New Year's. If you pray, please keep us in your prayers this holiday season.

Thank you!

Current Mood: worried
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008
10:42 pm
Post Partum Depression
I hate this.  I hate how I feel.  I hate being sad.  I hate being depressed.  I hate hating life.  Why can't I be happy anymore?  Why can't I find something to be happy about?  Why do I feel like such a bad person?  Why do I feel like a bad mother?  Why do I feel like everything is my fucking fault?  I can't take it anymore, I really can't and it scares me.  

I've always been depressed to an extent.  Honestly, I don't remember a time in my life when I was truly happy.  Maybe I was and just don't want to remember that time, but I don't remember it.  I guess that I always thought that depression was normal.  It was never bad.  Just sadness here and there out of nowhere, just feeling alone, but it always went away or was masked easily when I did something that I enjoyed.  Something that didn't involve being alone.  Now, however, I can't shake this sadness.  It's always there.  I always feel like crying.  I feel like I hate my life and myself.  I feel like a terrible mother and I have tons of regrets.  

I love my kids so much, please don't get me wrong!  There are just times when I feel like being a mother is so hard and I just can't handle it.  There are times I feel like my kids are to blame for my not having a life.  There are times when I feel like they are ruining my social life.  There are times I feel like I'm single and lonely because of my kids and that I will never find anyone because of them.  I feel like, in my mind, I blame them for so much when they don't deserve it.  I love my kids and I would do anything for them.  I just get to the point, at times, where I get so overwhelmed that I just sit down in the middle of whatever I was doing and I just start crying.  I just start crying and can't stop.  I  really feel like I have post partum depression.  However Olivia is 11 months old already.  How could I have it for this long? Doesn't it go away eventually?  I need help and I know I do.  I'm admitting to myself and to others that I need help.

For the past few months I was so ashamed of how I feel.  I thought it was wrong of me.  I thought I was a bad mom for how I feel... I just felt like a bad person.  Though I feel like I have to admit it to someone so that I can get the help I need for it.  I need to get to the Medicaid office to recertify for insurance so I can get help.  I don't think I could be able to go to a doctor without insurance to get any help because of how much counseling costs.  I can call around and get advice and prices, but I'm just so confused as to where to go.  I hate myself.

My mom doesn't help me.  She always tells me, "Post partum depression isn't a disease, it's a poor excuse not to be a parent."  She says I'm sick in the head and don't deserve to be a parent becaues I "abandon" my kids.  I don't abandon them. I do what I can for them.  There are just those times where I start crying or feel like sleeping would solve everything.  My mom says I'm just "god damn lazy" and a "poor excuse for a human being".  She tells me I'm a "whore", a "slut" and a worthless bitch that shouldn't even live.  My mom throws insults out a lot.  She has always been verbally abusive to me, but I always make excuses for her because she's my mom.  She's the person who raised me and the person who is supposed to support me, but she doesn't.  She always makes me feel like shit.  She is the one who makes everything worse for me.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I just want to cry all day long. 
Monday, November 24th, 2008
10:44 pm
help a single mother out!
I'm not a good consumer. And I've been asked to put a permanent page up on my solomother blog for good gifts for single mothers -- well, you and I know all mothers could use something nifty, but WHAT?

 And fathers, pitch in too please! What do you want! What do you need?

Please help me with your better taste and point me in some nifty directions. Pretty please? Calling all shoppers!
Monday, November 17th, 2008
8:54 am
Question: Is watching UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) inappropriate for an 8 year old?
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
4:53 pm
My baby boy just voted in his first election. I'm proud and sad at the same time. Guess he really isn't my baby anymore.
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