June 9th, 2009


kid post

She does something strange whenever she is rebuked even if the person is talking in normal tones and quietly explains things slowly.
I don't understand why she cries when somebody explains why she shouldn't do something. It's spoken in clear, non-threatening language but she either cries or has an angry look on her face. I suspect this may have been going on for a long time but she just kept it hidden. It seems as if she doesn't listen to the words people say and just breaks down at the slightest indication of an adult paying attention to her? It doesn't happen all the time but quite frequently.
Another behavior I noticed is after being punished, having a privilege taken away after being explained why what she did is wrong, etc. I find things in her room that have been destroyed. Instead of acknowledging her error she seems to ignore everything that is explained to her and either cries and writes notes, most of which are lies explaining that something else happened that vindicates her and is something she never said when confronted-such as when money disappeared-she wrote that her friends made her,"scramble", it- toss it into the air, which is why she didn't have any-but failed to explain how throwing bills into the air turned into coins which she had left over. I know she left the schoolyard and went to a store-which I told her was not allowed, and her teachers and principal told her the same thing. She just turned quiet when asked how she had change left over. So, tv was shut off for a day.
It reminds me of a book I'm reading about a pedophile who would refuse to acknowledge his crimes and always denied any wrongdoing, even when confronted with irrefutable evidence. There was a psychological "positive feedback loop" that perpetuated the behavior. He would commit a crime, be punished and feel the urge to commit more crimes to"get back at" the people for punishing him.
If she is doing this, how do I stop the loop? This can go on forever if she never admits she was wrong about anything and "owes"everybody if they ever punish her or say what she does is wrong?
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