Yeh! It's Friday! The week end by fast, great! Caitlyn has been soooo moody here lately. I really don't know what to make of this. I think I need to sit back and take a good look at the big picture. I'm I doing something wrong? I've been off of my meds, Ritalin, I'm ADHD! Maybe that has something to do with it. I can see a huge difference when I'm off of them. My place gets cluttered and unorganized. I don't put things back where they belong! I tend to "stress" more when I'm off of my meds too! So there, I have my answers.
She seems to be doing really good in school. She is an excellent reader. The teacher sends home some really odd homework assignments, but oh-well! She is growing up way too fast! I went into her room this morning to wake her up, and swear it was not the same girl I put to bed. She is one that grows in her sleep, I think!
Not a good way to start the day. Got a call last night around 10pm. Since I have caller ID, I could see that it was my X mother in law. I thought it was odd that she was calling me sooo late. But since I has company, elscootero, I didn't take the call. So, I called her back this morning. She read me the riot act. You see, I have not been recv'ing my CS for awhile now. He is not paying on bills that he is suppose to be paying on, things from when we were still married. I'm getting collection notices, and trying very hard to stay on top of that. I've sent in the paper work to take him back into court. I just think it's time that he be more financially responsible, since he isn't there physically. He remarried, had a 2nd child and divorced again. He now has to pay child support and medical for this other child. His mom said to me that I am pretty much putting a gun to his head, by taking him back into court and asking for more money. She questioned why I live in the City that I live in, which is in a nice and safe neighborhood and an excellent school dist. I live in the basement apartment of a house. The rent that I pay is cheaper than what I would pay if I was living in Brooklyn Center. Why should I have to justify where I live to her? I shouldn't. She thinks I spoil Caitlyn, by buying her Old Navy and Reebok shoes. She asks why does she have to play in so many sports. Why? 'Cause she wants to! It's good for her. I'd rather sacrifice something, like buy myself something nice, so she can play in these organized sports. I have sacrificed a lot for her, not that I am complaining, I'm happy to do it! I'd do anything for her. Unlike her "Daddy"!
I got a call about 20 mins ago from the States Attorney for my child support. The x is behind 40K now on my 6 year old. I find this very disturbing and keep track of the jerk as much as I can. He is now remarried, has a daughter and supports her first son as well, but Tuddle is forgotten about, or left under the statement"your his MOM, I know you will take care of him". Sad thing is, hes right. Well they are going to put his butt in JAIL! He will be on a work release program and 100% of his income will go to pay the back support. THIS IS GOOD! I keep thinking of all the things I could by Tuddle with the support. All those Toys he wants. Not that he has ever went without. I spoil him, but he deserves more. I say this because he has had 18 surgeries in under 3 years of his life. HE is special and has been through so much. He deserves the world.
Tuddle's new thing is to come up to me and ask me "You so proud of me Mommy?" I giggle and say "Of course" he responds with "Why not Mommy" and I have to tell him "I am proud of you." HE smiles and runs off yelling "I hate you MOM." I giggle.
They have the day off from school today. I am enjoying them as much as I can this early and on 4 hrs of sleep. Days off seem to screw up my work schedule. I normally sleep when Scout takes his morning nap. So I average about 3 hrs each night. But the morning sleep is so better for me. It is a deep sleep. Last night I hit the bed at 4 and tossed and turned all night. Maybe that had something to do with the number of children in my bed, which was 3???
I do this often when I am down about being a single mom... I get the camera, take the kids to the park and shoot as many pictures as I can of them. When the film is developed, I look at each one and remember, I was the only one there to share that moment. No one can ever take it away, say they saw it first, or tarnish it in anyway. That makes me smile.
I have 3 drawers filled of photos of my kids I took. Some are up on my website. Most are in the Photo albums for them to keep when I die or on my walls in frames. I am a very lucky mom to be loved the way I am. I have given myself reminders everywhere I look.
Just a real quick note here.
The "deadbeat-dad bashing" has been a prominent theme these last few days. Just wanted to remind you all that we have several fathers in this group, who sometimes feel a little ganged up on by all the bitter mothers in here. So please just remember, when you are going off on fathers in general, that there are lots of loving, caring fathers that go the extra distance. I understand that you feel angry, but please try to think of how you would feel if you were reading these types of posts about mothers.
I'm not saying don't stop airing your grievances, just keep them specific to the father of your child, and don't generalize too much.
An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes are usually referred to as "she."
One of the students raised their hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so she divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. In order to get their attention, you have to push the right button.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
What do you think?
I thought I would introduce myself really quickly.
I am a 24 (25 in a few weeks) mother of 2 children with 1 more on the way. I have Lilly who is 6, Shade who is 3 and I am due December 24 with Jean-Martin.
I never married my ex, but we were together for 8 1/2 years before breaking up shortly after I discovered I was pregnant for the third time.
I won't complain about money, since I am a lucky one, he pays far more than the courts make him. Sadly he thinks the money makes up for the fact that he spends no time with the kids.'I am having a fairly easy pregnancy this time around, though I am worried about my son because his father was using drugs heavily at the time we concived. I have since kicked him out, ebcause I refuse to let my children witness drunkenness, drug useage and abuse, both mental and physical. They never saw it before and I won't let them now.
I stay at home, I sew a lot and just do generaly things with my children.
Do any other single parents find it hard when they live in an area where ALL the other parents aren't single? It is almost like they don't want to be around me. I admit I am a little odd, but I am a nice person and I am happy to help out people whenever they need it. But I apparently have a single plague and they don't want to catch it!
Anyhow, I wanted to say hi and introduce myself. Time to wake up the napper and go pick up Lilly.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
I just wanted to say I agree with Tracey, Now I understand the need to vent alot of us got a bad break. We do need a place where we can vent our frustrations on the other hand we are single PARENT community so we need to take into account the single fathers as well. I hope all you dads out there feel free to vent about ex-wives/ girlfriends/ Maybe a nice solution would be that as we vent we try very hard to keep from generlizing all dads. I do understand it is hard I know my ex is bad but he would be as a man or a women. I think the most important thing is that we love our children and what is best for them. I also noticed a few new people and wanted to welcome you all to our group. I have busy with nursing school and have not had a chance to post lately. Good luck to you all and I think my biggest grip of the day is that I didn't get the good guy. I know you are out there and all the ex bashing aside I know there are good dads out there. Love to all Cindy Sue Curry