September 3rd, 2001

(no subject)

Hi! Alrighty then. My first post in Singleparents.... Here is a little about moi! I'm 31, live in the Minneapolis area, been divorced for 5 years, my daughter, Caitlyn is 7 years old and starting the 2nd grade tomorrow. She is so excited to be starting school. For the most part, I believe Caitlyn and I have a good relationship. We both have gone thru some changes. Most, actually all of my family lives in Montana. so, I really don't have any family support here. I have one friend, Bill, who I was involved with for 3 years. We broke up about 1 year ago. This was a very difficult time for me and Caitlyn. We are still very good friends and I know I can always call on him. Caitlyn refers to him as her dad. He pretty much takes her for me one night during the week, usually when I am playing volleyball with friends and he takes her almost every friday night. I am very lucky to have him. The real "sperm donor" only lives 30 min away, but he is a bum. I do get child support and that is it. I've been thinking about taking him back to court and having everything re-written. But most days, I just want to forget about him and my past. He was the biggest mistake I have ever made. Yes! I got Caitlyn out of the deal, but other than that. My life went down hill the day I married him. I had so much going for me at one time. I had a promising job with great pay. I had money in the bank and never really had to worry about anything. But I let him piss it all away. I have no one to blame but me! My friends and family all told me not to give/lend him all that money, but I wanted so badly to believe in him. He has been nothing but a let down for both me and Caitlyn, especially Caitlyn. I feel like I have let her down too. Now I'm starting to cry. I want the best for her, she is my life. I love her soooo much. I see in her eyes how disappointed she is in her dad. I so badly want to give her a family.
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my gripe this week?

having seperate fathers for my daughters. yeah, I know it's too late to change that, but hey, it still presents new challenges each and every week.

take for instance the father I was married too. my youngest daughter is his child by birth. do you think that matters to him? no, but pretty much everything else matters. he could have cared less about his daughter taking her 8th grade trip to washington, untill I asked him to help foot the $650 tab. then he balked and whined and bitched and moaned till it pissed me off so freaking much i told him to forget it, i didn't need his stupid money.

what does he do? completely drops the issue. he, once again could care less when she leaves, who she's staying with, who is chaperoning. he hasn't asked one single question about it, now that he's not obligated to apy.

my oldest daughters father on the other hand, shows up at my work and hands me $140 to use however I see fit for her classes at school.

you see my delima?????