Well today was way better than yesterday. My little cutie got into some melatonin (something old I have had around). Thankfully we had some syrup of ipecak around. Scared the shit out of me, let me tell you. I keep waking him up and making sure he was okay, my best friend had to calm me down and tell me I am not a horrendous mother. He just gets into everything. He is almost five years old and I still can't turn my back on him for a second. He is the busiest little kid I have ever known. I am suprised I am still sane. Don't get me wrong I love him more than anything. today he has been in a wonderful mood. He is playing like he is a veteranarian and is helping all his stuffed animals. Then he gives them to me and says here he needs this then bring him back for a check up. Then he call me on his pretend phone and askes "sweetheart our you ready to bring in Jaws for his check up". I love him. WE picked up his pictures and they are great. He is a cute kid ask anyone and they will say he is adorable. You can't ask me I am sooooo biased. I thought I had all the scissors up but he found my fly tying scissors. Like I said I have to watch him every second. I love him though. He is the best (when he isn't being a little devil). Well anyway Tracey's Bachelorette party is tomorrow. That is going to be great. I will have fun. Then the rehearsal and dinner, then Saturday is the wedding. She is so freaked out (nerves) but it will all be great, I think the weather will even hold out for us. Well not much else to say so guess Michael and are going to make oatmeal cookies (yummy).
I know I am probably putting the cart before the horse but as a single parent I really have to think these things through BEFORE they happen. I sure as heck cant count on their dad to help in any way shape or form. (I am suprised he can take care of himself let alone 2 kids). So heres the deal. I have a small sort of something in my breast. After sticking a needle into it (OOOOWWW)and getting nothing (which means it isnt a regular cyst) now I have to wait till next week for a mammo. Then probably have it removed. So anyways this is the dilemma. If its nothing then GREAT, but if its SOMETHING, like cancer or something how am I going to go to school and treatment and take care of the kids too. I do not relish the idea of moving in with my folks although if it came down to it in that situation I doubt they would refuse us. Eric is away for one more year so i cant really count on him day to day. I have a family history of cancer so I am more than a little nervous. And waiting just plain SUCKS. Anyways I just wanted to get my fears out. I cant do anything till I find out what it is anyways. But I am prepared for the worst (I think.....then again how can one be prepared for that) Cindy your son sounds like a wild man. He and my 4 almost 5 year old daughter would have a great time together and I bet they could come up with some new and exciting ways to test our parenting skills. lol. well I am off to bed it is too hot to sit here anymore. I thought it was supposed to cool off tonight. sigh. night night!