August 1st, 2001


Virus Warning

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes", delete it immediately. Do not
open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also
delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes
the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access
code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics
to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto
dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your
fish tank. It will drink ALL your beer.


It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting
company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back
and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to
run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone
loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which
grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it
will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden
tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk
with whole milk.


And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart so
hard that your right leg will spasm, shoot straight out in front of you,
sending sparks that will ignite onto the person nearest you.

Send to everyone...
  • Current Mood
    amused amused


My little one tonight decided that she wanted to use the potty that she got for her birthday.. and well SHE USED IT!!!!!!
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    Diamond Rio - Meet in the Middle