Okay, so she started kicking this week. It's like she find a new toy and is really trying to get the most of it...because she keeps going! Not that I mind.
I got off the phone at about 1 am, and laid in my bed with my hands on my belly and felt her kick for a least 45 minutes. Some of the kicks are so strong that it can be felt from the outside, not just the bubble popping sensation I had on the inside earlier this week. I just laid there with her kicking and thought about what I wanted for her here are a few things that I came up with.
1)No fear of stating her mind, or showing how smart she is
2)I know no matter what I do, it will probably hurt not having a father in her life, but I will make sure when she is old enough she knows that she is better off not having her actual father around.
3)Not afraid to try new things
4)I will listen attentively to every word she has to say, no matter how inane or silly or annoyed I may be at the time. I don't want her to have any lack of self confidence in talking about herself or her day
5)For whoever she is, and whoever she wants to be (or he for that matter) I will support and I will accept.
Then I thought about how I would want to set an example for her, and lately I haven't been too proud of myself. But that changes today. I am usually very outspoken about my feelings but for the past few weeks, I have been stifling them because of someone elses preference. Because I wanted to be the kind of friend he wanted me to be. As it turns out, I can never be that person. I can only be the kind of person I am, and if he doesn't like it, tough. We weren't meant to be friends in the first place then. Call it tough love.
Oh....she just kicked again! Current Mood: satisfied