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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Single Parents' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, November 10th, 2013
12:12 pm
A year ago, Xander wanted Skylanders, so I bought Skylanders Spyros and he began collecting the Skylanders to play on it. About the time I breahted a sigh of relef that he had collected them all, he got Skylanders Giant and we dropped another small fortune. But, finally, he had all the completely separate Skylanders he needed for that. A few months passes by and hadn't asked for a new one. Well, now -- NOW -- these assholes have come wout with **new** Skylanders game - Skylanders Swap Force - that requires a whole new set of Skylanders to play. I mean, son of a bitch!!! I hope the u niverse sends a flat tire or a stubbed toe to the terrorist who continue to churn out these games!
Monday, October 28th, 2013
8:33 pm
electronics and such
What all electronic devices do you allow your child to use? And how often a day? My boys are 10 and nearly 8 and we haven't given in to letting them have phones or tablets yet. However, we are getting the 10 year old the iPad for christmas this year. He currently has an iPod touch and all we hear about is how the other kids have tablets. The 8 year old isn't really interested in tablets yet. I think for him he sees that as us being able to make him do homework simulations on. He does love video games. We have a PS3 and a Wii, but they are only allowed to play those on the weekends currently. Do you allow week night play time? We have a lot of activities and by the time we get home there's really only time for homework, bathing, and eating. So they don't really fight us on that one.

Weekends I guess it varies. I've setup "wifi password privileges" and they have to do certain things throughout the week to get the new wifi password. This really motivates the older one b/c he wants to game and be accessible to all his other buddies.

So any feedback would be appreciated. Happy monday!
Monday, October 21st, 2013
8:42 pm
boys will be boys
so I was walking down the hallway and I heard both boys (10 & 7.5) in the bathroom (& THEY WEREN'T FIGHTING) & I was just happy that they were laughing so I stopped at the door b/c they were laughing and I hear...
7.5 - (Xayden) "I can make mine bigger, give me a sec"

2:45 pm
score one for the good guy
So. My ex has always been married to her career. She's an equity partner looking to become a named partner before she's 40 in a law firm. Her dads kinda a big deal in DC so she has big shoes to fill and stops at nothing to do that.

When we were together it was easy and natural for me to keep her up on the kids activities and games and make sure she was there even though she worked while being there.

With her moving out, I put in a lot of effort to remind of the boys soccer and baseball and basketball games and also that they had guitar practice or drum practice or that they were doing the crafts at home depot on this day and time and that she should come. And by remind...I would send her an email each week with the schedule of events and then text her morning noon and after work the day of to remind her. She would make some here and there and as I stated, work the whole time.

So the past month I thought screw that. I'm not her parent either and so I send out a weekly email to her and to my siblings and parents (b/c they have been stepping up to support the boys) and she has maybe hit 1-3 since then - IN A MONTH.

My oldest, Xander, gets so upset he cries the whole way home when she's not there. He almost hyperventalates b/c he is so upset and he is so angry at me. I tell him to call her and ask HER why she didn't make it. And he does this and she tells him some crap that she didn't know or didn't see that email and that maybe I didn't send it.

So now - I have HIM send the email to her, even from his own email account. Did she come this weekend???? NOPE. So when she did show up on Saturday to carve pumpkins with us he asked her flat out "why did you miss my soccer game?" and she says "I didn't know you had one today, no one told me" and he didn't even say a word...just the look on his face was like he finally got it and knows that his mother was a liar. Not that this made me happy b/c then the look on his face showed heartbreak and he excused himself and went to the bathroom and cried.

But you know what? He didn't cry for her when she left that night. He simply said goodbye and gave her a quick hug and he didn't mention her the rest of the weekend.

As much as it broke his heart knowing now whom she really is, it broke mine too.
Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
8:47 pm
kids and divorce
So how do you handle the resentment from your child / children with leaving their mother?
She cheated, granted, but I couldn't work it out and now my 10 year old blames me
b/c she's just become more engrossed into her career. They live wtih me b/c her work is demanding (attorney)
and her career is very important to her. She picks 3 days a week that she stops by and hangs out with them and when she leaves my oldest tells me over and over how he hates me. It's been since well...I guess June when she moved out. The 7 year old just laughs about her almost. He makes comments to me and brother "oh, you know she won't come" or "you know she forgot..."...and that breaks my heart hearing him lose hope. I don't know.
Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
11:18 pm
Hello! I used to be an active member of this group. I haven't been on here in quite a while though. I am still a single mother. My son is now 12 years old. A lot has changed in our lives. We have become more stable and found our nitch in how we get from day to day. That is until about 2 months ago when I went on a first date in over 5 years. Now I'm trying to figure out how to be a single mother and date and still have this life that we've come to know. Does anyone have advice on how to balance all of this? At times I want to just give up on the dating idea and go back to just being a single mother. Its been 8 years since my divorce. How do I keep things well for my son...let him know that I'm here for him and always will be and yet that I get lonely at times too and want to date? Any advice would be great! Thank you :)
Saturday, March 9th, 2013
10:08 am
Hello everyone,

I'm so thankful to be part of this group! I look forward to sharing tips and experiences with you all. I am sort of a newly single parent. I'm 35 yrs old with a 5yo daughter and 2.5 yo son.

It's very hard to figure out how much to share. I could write a small novel.

about the break upCollapse )

I wrote a huge section, about the size of the text above, about our relationship and how it got to that point, but feel it might be too much to share(?)

The only other thing besides figuring out housing and how we're going to manage financially, that I'm trying to figure out right now, is my poor kids :( My son, who was very anti-social from infancy, started paying a lot of attention to older males. He even called one daddy yesterday, after the man ignord him when he said hi :( It is heartbreaking to see him reaching out to males :( My daughter is mostly ok but she has never been a complainer and has started having stomachaches and when she's just on her own playing or whatever, she sometimes looks so very sad :( I called an agency that exists to help separated and divorced families to ask about counselling for kids, but they haven't called back yet. My ex has never been involved in the family or home, but he did play with them once in a while. He was rough with them, very impatient, but still their father.

HE came by to get the rest of his clothes on Thursday and refused to see them. My son begged and pulled me upstairs to see him and after 5 mins of giving me shit for letting our son see him, he said hi to him :( He has made no plans to see them. Also, his new girlfriend's place is 2.5 hrs away :/ which totally doesn't make sense for his job or for seeing his kids. Last time he moved out it was an hour and a half away and he swore the next place would be in our neighborhood. .. clearly he is choosing her over us. He is also a huge liar. .oh god, I could write in here for pages. . .

That is where we are right now.
Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
4:54 pm
newbie to the group

Well I wanted to stop in and say HI...Im a single parent to a almost 7yr old son. It sure hasn't been a easy task being a parent let alone a single mom. I was on LJ before he was born and made some good friends. So Im hoping to do the same again but this time with people of similar interests.
My son has been the strength I need to go on each day. Especially lately since I was laid off...I have been real down but knowing I have a reason to get up each day has kept me going.

I dont want to bore anyone on my first visit here...just wanted to stop in. Im relearning LJ again so give me time to get my profile up and running.

Have a great night!!!

Current Mood: hopeful
Monday, January 16th, 2012
3:30 pm
Hi everyone. I am not new to the community, just absent for a very long time but I am back! I was a single parent, got married, had another baby, got divorced and am currently expecting number 3 with my ex husband. This is an odd situation for the both of us but we are trying to make the most of it and do the best we can for all of the children involved. I do have a question for all of you out there reading this. Have any of you been in this kind of situation before and how did it turn out for you? I know all people are different and the outcomes are going to be different but I am curious to know if and how things worked out.
Saturday, July 3rd, 2010
1:24 pm
So this morning I was a lazy parent. It happens. Everybody does it at some point, right? The baby wakes up (more like the toddler, he is almost 2) and your not ready to get up yet so what do you do? I did what I wanted to do, of course. I got the kid out of bed, changed his diaper and took him back to bed with me. I knew he wouldn't be interested in sleeping so I put on the movie "Bolt" and managed to get over a half an hour of sleep/snuggle time. Now I dont do this every morning, but probably once or twice a month I take advantage of the opprtunity to kill two birds with one stone. A catnap and the chance to snuggle with my son, since he is at an age where sitting still isn't something he is normally interested in. He even sweatened the deal by giving me a kiss to wake me up.

I promise this rant is going somewhere, really. Being a single mom who had to move back in with her parents life for me is difficult. There is always people around, something I'm not fond of and one person in particular. My little brother (who is hardly little, he is 22 years old). Anyways He continues to go on and on about how I'm this horrible parent because i didn't get the baby up and get his day started right away and so on and so forth and I was floored. This comming from the guy who has never worked a day in his life, who never finished highschool, and who has a daughter himself and maybe see's her a few times a year and offers no financial help to the mother what-so-ever! Not to mention a theif, never leave your purse where you can't see it, even for a second because your money, smokes and any prescriptions you may have will go missing.

he even goes ape shit over the fact that when the baby wakes me up in the morning, instead of getting the baby up right away i go out to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee, use the restroom and splash some cold water on my face before i get the baby out of bed. I promise the baby isn't crying or screaming and for the most part waits patiently for me to return to the room within 3 or 4 minutes of him waking me up. This annoys my brother as well.

I don't understand why he feels like he has the room to judge me. I have worked since I was 16, I finished school when I was supposed to, I have lived on my own since I was 18 and with the exception of not paying any rent I recieve no financial help from my parents what-so-ever. I pay my own bills, buy my and my sons groceries, clothes and anything else we may need. I even pay my parents $10 a month to help with the cable bill since i have it hooked up in my room, $15 a month to help with the internet since I use it and $100 a month to put towards the utilities. I even pick up the groceries to make dinner 2 or 3 nights a week for the entire family.

And any time anything goes missing (which is often) I can't say anything to him without him flying off the handle and screaming and throwing things and calling me a "Fat fucking cunt/bitch/whore" and my parents? tell me to not bring anything in the house that i dont want to go missing. So i dont. I buy my smokes by the pack instead of the carton so i can keep track of them better, i never have cash on me, debit only and any medications i have i keep in a lock box in my room (yes he will take your pills, not just a few either. all of them. he took my entire prescription of loratabs after i had my son so i had to heal from a c-section with no pain medication and he took most of my pills after my foot surgery a few weeks ago because i caught him in my room while i was sleeping taking them out of my purse. since i didn't have my walking boot on yet he knew he could get out without me being able to catch him so he took my pills and took off while i sat there ready to cry) he has even stolen my car keys and cleaned all the money out of my car and empty's the baby's piggy bank that i was always dropping my change in (i was easily putting fourty bucks a month into that thing)

just needed to vent and some of your opinions on what i should do. I cant afford to move out yet and whenever i say anything to my parents they tell me to move out if i dont like it.
Sunday, March 28th, 2010
6:28 pm
I don't know what to do...
My DD has been off and on sick for the past few months. Bronchitis and ear infection in both ears. It's gotten to the point we're in the doctor's office every month. Sometimes twice or three times a month. I know kids get sick, but I didn't think that it would be constant. I'm seriously at loss as to what to do. I also had planned on going back to school and signed up for some classes but with Sammie being sick, I've missed a lot of classes already. We're already having problems with the doctors and billing. The Doctor's office is saying we're short on payment when they're suppose to take it out of the insurance. Insurance says they've already paid for it and yet they're still billing us. It's gotten to the point where they won't see her till the payment gets sorted out. She's already missed a follow up appointment last week, and now she's sick again. I seriously have no idea what to do to make my baby feel better. And I'm starting to feel like a horrible parent because she keeps getting sick.

Current Mood: sad
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
1:39 pm
My toddler wont play with toys anymore? why?
Calling All Moms...I have a problem with my toddler. Please Help :(
Well My daughter is now 27months & she wont play with her toys, I have noticed this habit has started 6-8months ago.
My husband & I use to buy her new toys once a month throught her main developing years, not to mention her grandparents spoiling her :P ...Then I noticed her playing less & less with her toys & wanting to be around me 24/7, I read it was a phase so I'd play with her more then average & spent all my extra time outside of work with her. She soon started her independence stage & still never went back to her toys. My husband & I started yardsaleing for all her toys bc it was just getting way too expensive to keep buying her new toys from the store & she'd never play with them. Half of the toys she's scared of. She doesnt like dollies or any toys that talk or sing.
She use to like toys that light up & play music but not anymore, Anything with tons of little pieces she scatters all over the house.

My husband deployed & I had to move myself to a new house across the US, i couldnt afford a huge UHUAL & had to get small shrimpy one that barely fit our two beds & a t.v. I want to buy her toys bc her bedroom is BARE, but i dont know what to get her bc she is soooooooooo picky. The only thing she likes is too draw & read. so i have her cardboard books bc she'll tear up paper books & i have to supervise her with crayons (yes even washable ones) bc she loves to "color" all over my walls. 
Im so frusterated, i want her to have a huge room full of fun activities but its not like I can ask her what she wants :/
Can Anyone give me any sort of advice
Friday, December 4th, 2009
6:04 pm
How do you deal with a 10 year old girl?
My little girl's teacher caught her stealing at school today before she caught her school bus!
She was seen taking a soccer ball by another parent who picks up their kid and Miss S. called to let me know.
I asked her about it and she was just going to lie about it. I busted her and grounded her, all she did was say ,"I don't know", and cry-because she got caught.
I'm wondering if she was stealing for somebody else because she can't play soccer in the apartment and it's winter now!?...and how many other things she has stolen?
I also found an expensive metal water bottle I bought her in her schoolbag with a big cut down the side-her mom has been avoiding her calls for a week. I guess this is her way of dealing with her mom being a jerk.
My daughter has been through some rough times in the past 5 years, her mom gave her up to social services and I wasn't given custody for 3 years. She's been with me for a year and a half. Is there any other way of getting her to talk about why she did this?
I tried and she just gave me some more lies-she did this before, continuing to lie even though I saw her do something wrong and had proof?

Current Mood: aggravated
Sunday, November 29th, 2009
11:25 pm
Hello Again,
I am a soon to be single parent & am looking for advice on a certain subject. How do you date guys? Most guys i know dont want to have anything to do with me because i have a child, so where can i look to find family oriented men that are willing to accept my daughter as part of the relationship..
all help is greatly advised :x
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
5:37 pm
I've tried the, no more diaper and put panties on my lil one. She took to it fine for....a handful of days then it backfired. She'll pt her panties on in the morning just fine, the day will progress just fine....I'll ask her if she has to go to the bathroom to pee or poop, she'll respond with "No". Then 5...maybe 10 minutes later I hear her taking a leak on the rug. I sigh, clean her up clean the rug and put fresh panties on her and ask her why she did it. She'll just look at me and smile and ignore me. I'll ask her "Where do you go potty?" She'll respond with "Toilet!" but..she ends up pissing on the rug. If she's wearing a dress, she'll lift it up, squat on the floor and piss. She'll do the same when she has to poop. I've thought about putting her back in diapers for the time being and trying again later. But I'm getting massive pressure from my mom to potty train her fast. I don't know what to do. /sigh

Another problem I'm having is trying to teach her to write. I know she's only 3 and I don't remember what age that they should learn to do that. But I'm left handed and she's right handed. My mom keeps throwing it in my face that Sammie's cousin can already write her name and read a little bit. She's(my mom) isn't even around that much. She's at work all day, and sometimes she'll go to her boyfriends house. So I'm the only one doing all of this and the pressure is starting to cause me a shit ton of stress. I can't do this all by myself I really can't but I have no choice. My brother works, and sleeps all day so I can't ask him to help me teach Sammie to write because he's right handed. When I told my mom I if she could help Sammie, she started bitching me out even more. Hell, she's even threatened to call Child Services on me because supposedly I'm not taking care of my own kid. She makes me feel like I'm not a good enough parent to my own kid. And we've talked about her treatment of me but she doesn't seem to care.

Current Mood: sad
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
8:05 am
Potty Training Dead Line
My daughter is 3 1/2 and still isn't interested in the potty. Any attempt I've made she doesn't show much interest. She's suppose to start pre-school in August but if she's not potty trained she can't go. I've read a bunch of potty training books, used stickers, treats etc to get her to be interested in the potty but nothing works. I was told by her Pedi not to push her into using the potty and that she'll do it on her own time. But again, Preschools won't accept a kid unless they're potty trained. Her cousin which is 3 months younger then her is already potty trained so my family try guilt tripping me because I'm having trouble potty training her.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get her to get interested?

Current Mood: contemplative
Tuesday, June 9th, 2009
1:37 pm
kid post
She does something strange whenever she is rebuked even if the person is talking in normal tones and quietly explains things slowly.
I don't understand why she cries when somebody explains why she shouldn't do something. It's spoken in clear, non-threatening language but she either cries or has an angry look on her face. I suspect this may have been going on for a long time but she just kept it hidden. It seems as if she doesn't listen to the words people say and just breaks down at the slightest indication of an adult paying attention to her? It doesn't happen all the time but quite frequently.
Another behavior I noticed is after being punished, having a privilege taken away after being explained why what she did is wrong, etc. I find things in her room that have been destroyed. Instead of acknowledging her error she seems to ignore everything that is explained to her and either cries and writes notes, most of which are lies explaining that something else happened that vindicates her and is something she never said when confronted-such as when money disappeared-she wrote that her friends made her,"scramble", it- toss it into the air, which is why she didn't have any-but failed to explain how throwing bills into the air turned into coins which she had left over. I know she left the schoolyard and went to a store-which I told her was not allowed, and her teachers and principal told her the same thing. She just turned quiet when asked how she had change left over. So, tv was shut off for a day.
It reminds me of a book I'm reading about a pedophile who would refuse to acknowledge his crimes and always denied any wrongdoing, even when confronted with irrefutable evidence. There was a psychological "positive feedback loop" that perpetuated the behavior. He would commit a crime, be punished and feel the urge to commit more crimes to"get back at" the people for punishing him.
If she is doing this, how do I stop the loop? This can go on forever if she never admits she was wrong about anything and "owes"everybody if they ever punish her or say what she does is wrong?

Current Mood: confused
Friday, March 6th, 2009
11:44 pm
worried about the pillow
I hope I may ask this here.

For the last few weeks my 15 months old *16months on 3-16* has been sleeping in my bed with me and I have been losing sleep.
Every time he is in my bed he always sleeps on the same pillow. If I don't lay him on it right away he will cry.
A friend told me I should put the pillow in the crib with him tonight and I did and he is now asleep. But I still can't sleep cuz I have the pillow in the crib with him! 
So I am asking if it OK that I am doing this? I am worried about so many things that could happen or go wrong.
He sleeps in the same room as me also if anyone is wondering.

Current Mood: sleepy
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
8:47 am
Parenting Plans - Sick Days
My daughter's father and I do pretty good managing our time. He works full time, I'm a student full time, and because of this I am responsible for all child-care. However, his job allows for time off for children. This week I have missed all of my classes because I can't take my daughter while she's sick. Will the court allow us to split sick days? He works locally and can utilize his parents house to keep her while I'm in class, which is an hour a day. I am asking him to only take her for the time I'm in class and I will resume afterward.

Is this wishful thinking? We go before a judge for a child support modification, can I bring this up or must I wait for our next mediation appointment?
Monday, February 16th, 2009
6:42 pm
Guess whose son is going to the Arts Institute of Portland!

I'm cross posting this all over the place.
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