When we were together it was easy and natural for me to keep her up on the kids activities and games and make sure she was there even though she worked while being there.
With her moving out, I put in a lot of effort to remind of the boys soccer and baseball and basketball games and also that they had guitar practice or drum practice or that they were doing the crafts at home depot on this day and time and that she should come. And by remind...I would send her an email each week with the schedule of events and then text her morning noon and after work the day of to remind her. She would make some here and there and as I stated, work the whole time.
So the past month I thought screw that. I'm not her parent either and so I send out a weekly email to her and to my siblings and parents (b/c they have been stepping up to support the boys) and she has maybe hit 1-3 since then - IN A MONTH.
My oldest, Xander, gets so upset he cries the whole way home when she's not there. He almost hyperventalates b/c he is so upset and he is so angry at me. I tell him to call her and ask HER why she didn't make it. And he does this and she tells him some crap that she didn't know or didn't see that email and that maybe I didn't send it.
So now - I have HIM send the email to her, even from his own email account. Did she come this weekend???? NOPE. So when she did show up on Saturday to carve pumpkins with us he asked her flat out "why did you miss my soccer game?" and she says "I didn't know you had one today, no one told me" and he didn't even say a word...just the look on his face was like he finally got it and knows that his mother was a liar. Not that this made me happy b/c then the look on his face showed heartbreak and he excused himself and went to the bathroom and cried.
But you know what? He didn't cry for her when she left that night. He simply said goodbye and gave her a quick hug and he didn't mention her the rest of the weekend.
As much as it broke his heart knowing now whom she really is, it broke mine too.